Might just be PMS

Graciousness!

I just had one of those days (past 24hrs) where I've potentially experienced all the emotions there are to feel: Anger, pain, joy, irritation, indifference, excitement, anxiety, sadness, frustration, relief, exhaustion, fear, intimidation, diva-ness (hmmm I'm sure you understand), etc in no particular order. This is not a joke but please don't ask me to explain their origins because I really can't. All I can say is that each and everyone was caused by some person or the other, from some random truck driver to my co-workers to my best friend to Jamie Foxx (I had Just Like Me on repeat so I was happy lol).
And damnit I am WORN OUT and I haven't even done my workout yet.

My point?
I'm not sure I had one when I started this but here goes;
Ever so often I'm told "Don't let it get to you like that," or "Don't let [fill the blank] step on your happiness." But thinking back over the last 24hrs, why shouldn't I?
Why should I embrace enjoy and shut out pain? Or favour patience and peace over a good ol' rant and rave? Of course, one feels better than the other and others are more socially acceptable. But what would Daredevil be without the King Pin or whatever (annoying movie if you ask me)?
Or, taking it back, the three little pigs without the big bad wolf? Buffy without Angel? (But then again those two… hmmm).
What I'm trying to say is, and it is cliché but the good will never feel as good without the bad. We were not created to feel only the good things. So let yourself FEEL!! Feel all that there is to feel, at the very least you know you can and that you are well. Be grateful for that. I am. :)

Now on to Disturbia and plank jacks! huff!

Passions

Everyone knows the saying: If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything (Well it goes something like that I'm sure). Also in an earlier post I said "Believe in something; anything. You’d be less confused …at least in one area." (I also happened to follow that with: "When you give advice to others, you might want to learn to take it too." I really should start listening to myself, I sound wise. :/ )

Anyways, my point:
I honestly am not sure what things I believe in. Of course, there is God, love, and family. But what I'm talking about is the passionate belief in something that is obvious to the world like that of Mother Teresa, Martin L. King, and Kimmie Weeks to name a few. These people were/are so passionate about their beliefs that they did something about it, either they encouraged people to share in their passion, actively acted on their passion, or did both. The others I'm sure you know of all the others but Kimmie Weeks. Kimmie Weeks; He is something else.
He started displaying his passion at 14, the point at which he'd decided that he did not want to see another child go through what he had been through during the first civil war in Liberia, his home country. A time during which he was so malnourished and thus immobile that his body was thrown into the pile of dead ones where his frantic mother found him. Now he has helped the children of Africa in SO many ways. Kudos, Mr. Weeks! But, Lord forbid that I or anyone would have to face death and suffering to stand up for something that I believe in.

I've always said if nothing else, I want the fact that I was alive make at least one other life better than it would have been. There! I guess that's one thing I believe in and I pray the burning passion follows soon. For now my head and heart are very cluttered places that need a good spring cleaning.

I commend those who have already grabbed bulls by their horns and are doing something about the things they feel.

To the iStandAbove Organization, Rights to Rights Foundation, Open Hands Foundation, EASE (MIT), MIG, Aisha Obuobi, Lifestylz GH and all others acting on their passions and effecting the change they want to see in the world: Ayekoo!!

If you have a passion, do something about it. If you don't know how, make your first step asking questions, you'll get there some how, trust me. Don't let it die!!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson.

University Avenue Woes.

At least twice a week I have to head out for my appointment with the chiropractor on University Avenue. If I'd just missed the bus that goes by there, I'd get there quicker than waiting for the next, and since I love walking 15 mins is not a big deal, especially with the sun out and my swagger on! :) Oh but everything I see, has a price.
Damn.

These are my Uni Ave Woes:

I hate it when all you see is this my “pretty face,”
Then honk and holler and be all up in my space.
I hate how you assume you can make me fall,
Undressing me with your eyes with no shame at all.

I hate when you assume you must be a very smooth guy
‘Cus then you should know I’m gonna walk on by
I hate it when you’re in my face, saying you want to talk
Going straight into “Slow it baby, I’m loving that cat walk.”

I hate when I cringe you think “Ooo that was a smile,”
And quickly make that yard an uncomfortable mile.
I hate that you say, thinking your mind is mature and complex,
“Baby, you walk sexy, you talk sexy, you could be my next ex.”

Damn! Fool.

I’d love it instead if you had style and smile and show yourself to be
A man with a heart not a blood-filled “D” throbbing for my “V”
And reach for my hand not thinking of what’s between my thighs
And say “I think I see a beautiful soul smile behind these beautiful eyes.”

Dreams (Twilight inspired)

So I wrote this piece a long time ago, around the time my sister was making read the Twilight series. LOL, so as she refuses to let me forget. This was indirectly inspired by her.

May He hold you in His embrace.
KD.

Dreams - Ruddi

The moonlight kissed and caressed the clearing;
The nighttime sounds hummed a magical melody
And the trees seemed to sway with its rhythm.
Cradled by soft grass, I lay in the middle of the clearing
Smiling up at the night sky as the wind cooed in my ear.
Enjoying the peace, serenity and hominess of the setting
I wondered what could possibly make this more perfect.
As though I had said that out loud, he stepped into the light
A wide smile on his face that reached his twinkling eyes
I looked up at him from where I lay and dared not move.
Impossible…His cannot be the same face…not here…
My heart raced out of control and my hopes ready to fly
I knew this man; I’d seen him almost every day for years
Wandering the smoky scenes of my dreams, just beyond reach,
Then he spoke; his voice flowed creamily out of his mouth
Mesmerizing me with its deep, silky quality
I blinked, my mind blank without a ghost of thought
I had not heard what he said and it apparently showed
He, laughing, held out his hand reaching for mine
Locking my eyes with his, I placed my hand in his open one
Then my head on his shoulder and his head lay on mine
The music swelled about us and we swayed to it
I sighed my content as we danced, oblivious of the world
The seconds slipped into minutes and minutes into hours
Time held no consequence as we stayed cocooned in our embrace
Until the lights of dawn began to spill over the horizon
Knowing the end threatened I held on tighter
“Don’t leave me here… please,” I whispered my plea
He smiled, sadly this time, his palm against my cheek
Slowly he lowered his head till his lips met mine
Suddenly the sun seemed reluctant to miss the moment
It burst out from beyond the horizon flooding the clearing with light
I opened my eyes and I was alone; my bed no longer welcoming
Enjoying the lingering effect of the dream, I smiled
Enveloped in the magical melody that flowed over my soul.
…You may only be in my mind, but till you aren’t I’ll dream.