Year of Lasts

Tonight, I will be going to bed just like I have every night in the past (well most nights at least). But tomorrow; tomorrow I'll wake up different.

It's been 3 years coming, this night has. 3 years, I've waited and waited, longed for and hoped for. And now it here. Tomorrow morning I wake up a college senior. Tomorrow morning I begin my year of lasts, with my last first day of fall semester.

I'm torn between anxiety and excitement about the future.
Anxiety because I do not know where I will be, what I would have accomplished and what I would have failed to accomplish. I do not know if I will even make it to the end of senior but God carried me through my accident so I must be meant for more than the trials of school if I'm alive now.
(R.I.P. to those who cannot say same for they are with the Father. Paa Bed, I didn't know you at all but obviously, you meant a lot to a lot of people. Godspeed brother.)
Anxiety because of all the plans (A - D so far) I hope to fall back on, I'm not sure yet of which would hold, if any at all.

But despite all that, excitement because I feel as though graduation marks the beginning of an independence that I do not yet know. Yes, I have been living on my own and paying bills, etc. but there is something missing in all that that I feel graduation will bring.
Excitement also because I will finally find out what benefit college has been to me and how much of it I really will use. Classroom knowledge versus social/people handling knowledge…?

I'm not sure I like this whole not knowing exactly where I'm going kinda thing… Hmph.
Ok bedtime. I have a blasted 8am financial accounting class which I only have because I'm trying to figure out my post graduation plan A.1.

AArrrgggghhhhhhh! Ok ok bedtime. Gnyt y'all!

xx.
KD