Friends…

Even the most beautiful of gems must first be carved out from the dusty, dirty earth.

The blog piece I started writing in place of this one could not be going further in the opposite direction. It was full of rage. Full of anger. I was pouring out my feelings because writing is usually the only why I know how to express them and get them to leave me alone and let me feel better. Be better. But what I was doing instead was holding on to the emotions; on the rage I felt and wouldn't let it go. I need to learn to let them go.

Fortunately, I had a friend send me this:

Sometimes we… I focus too much on the bad and tend to forget those things that are good or at least just enough. Those things I actually am trying to get on my feet to chase.

…Even then, "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away."

Should you be able to loosely replace "right hand" with "'friend'" do not hesitate to cut it off and throw it away. I have hesitated and keep hesitating… lol. Soon enough I'll stop being a wuss and will pick up that axe.

It about time I crawled into bed.

xoxo.

I AM My Hair.

WOOOO!!! I just had my hair did!! And its fly!! (No, literally, you should see the Minnesota ice air blowing it into my face and blinding me. Silly thing. ;) )
A couple hours ago I couldn't even get my big toothed afro comb through the thing and now I can wrap it even!!! (Can you tell how excited about it I am??? :D)

So anyways, there is this thing going on in my school where girls left, right, center, above and below (trust we scots to go there too) are cutting their hair. And I don't mean the short bob like Mandy Moore oooo, I mean short like Solange! (One even has a Cassie. She might have changed her mind half way? Idk) Their excuse: "My hair is too straight!"
To think the ones whom Africans looked to and began to perm their hair are actually sick of it now and want curly hair!!! We humans are NEVER satisfied with what we have, are we? ARGH!

My hair is permed, but Lord knows this thing is only "straight" for the first 2 weeks after a perm and then its back to the frizz. And I'm looking on as head after head is shaved thinking nnooooo and I realise just how much I love my hair and how like it I can be.
Before my hair was permed I never did it myself. I couldn't. It was long and thick with tight curls that created knots like they were holding on to each other for dear life! I remember my mother would ran a comb which started with 14 teeth through my hair and it'd come back with 10 because those bonds were that tight. On one hand, we both were stubborn without give, on the other we linked strands/hands and refused to let go. I look at my life and the close friends I have to whom I'm holding on to like my curly strands would hold on to each other.

Then I got a perm. Probably because people who had to deal with doing my hair couldn't anymore. I know I couldn't (When I was left to wash my own hair I had to do it in sections…funny). We are both now changed, newly formed in new ways and trying new things.
But most of all, we do not forget our roots. They spring back up, thick, curly and AFRICAN! Intertwined to link strands yet again. Yes, I am mixed and my skin pays some homage to my European side but we are talking hair and I was born and raised and still grow African.

You can take the girl and her hair outta Africa but not the African outta the girl OR her hair!!

As much as I would llooovveee to my full head of knotted hair back, I know I can't shave my head. eish!! There is a reason hair is there to cover the head. haha. Besides I like the fact I can comb my own hair now (sometimes). ;)

NOTE: I repeatedly said Africa because this kpenkpeshi hair is not only in Ghana. But I would like to say here: I'M A PROUD BLACK STAR (with cream) OF GHANA!!! WWOOOOO!!!!

Oh, Happy Independence Day Naija! :)

Pieces of Himself

Today, the darkness that I have allowed to follow me about lifted just enough for the light to shine and show me something I was refusing to see and therefore failed to appreciate.
I thank God often for "my friends and family," but I realised just recently how like a gift each of them is. In this my time of frustration and confusion, they have been the ones to keep a smile plastered on my face longer than it otherwise would have been if at all.
Each one in their own little way has made me feel loved, appreciated and cared about.
Some I've known hardly a week and others a lifetime, and finally I see the beauty in all these gifts God has given to me: Pieces of Himself.

For every tear you kept from running down my cheek
For every smile you replaced a frown with
For every time you held my hand or simply held me
For every day you continue to seek my company
For every time you've been there for me in whatever capacity
In my small little way I just want to say: Thank you.
Truly, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

"Since I have no gold to give,
And love alone must make amends,
My daily prayer is while I live—
'God, make me worthy of my friends.'”

—Sherman (Daily Bread, July 28, 09)