Wedded Bliss

So this all started about a year ago…
I was at work joyfully being aimless (yes, my boss knows, hehe) when this woman (…hmmm another point. ok maybe more than a year ago) comes up to me and says she would need to have her username changed because she had gotten married over the summer. And considering her request that meant she was at most a college senior.
I FREAKED OUT! (Well after I had directed her to the appropriate personnel of course)

It had not occurred to me till right then and there that I was growing up…fast.
I remember the days when whenever I heard that someone was getting married it was one of my parents' friends or some older person. But now, it was the people around me, people my age who were getting married.
And suddenly everyone was getting married, it was as though my eyes-are-closed-to-all-things-marriage-related bubble burst. People my age who I knew directly or through others were making that life long commitment to be with someone the rest of their lives.
THAT'S A HUGE-NORMOUS COMMITMENT.
My roommates can attest to the shock I was in for the following week.

And from that point I started noticing all sorts of other things. My to-do lists did not only include deadlines for getting various class projects done but also:
going to the supermarket to get things I needed,
making sure that my bank account would allow me to get those things,
would I have time to make something to eat and still get these things done,
being roped into various projects that are totally nonacademic,
paying big bills every month
GARGANTUAN RESPONSIBILITIES
and the list goes on.

And there were other more interesting things like tall glasses of hot chocolates that I noticed and had always and will always notice but… it hit just how much I noticed them and how I was not alone in noticing and going mmmmm with eyes closed and big smiles. (Lardy, that night was a shocker. lol) and how this place that I am in has a big lack of them. grr.

But anyways, when did this all happen???
Where did the times I was content with a book and cuddling Benjie in bed go?
Where did the times when I did not worry about bills and when I was getting paid go?
Where did the times when 24 hrs in the day was MORE than enough go to class, eat, sleep, get homework done and still have time over to be aimless and bug my mother (who was 6 feet and not 6092 miles away) go?

ARGH!!!!
And coming back to that other point, did you notice when people started calling you "woman" (or "man")?? I didn't really, when suddenly it was obviously only my parents would call me girl (or some bug-eyed, frog-tongued weirdo on university avenue… forgive me). It was either lady or woman, never girl. And all around me my friends gladly claimed the title. and my roommate would always mock-scold me starting with, "Look here woman!"

Anyways, what got me thinking about all this (other than the bill that I know is waiting for me) at work last week I found out one of my co-workers had gotten engaged last year (forgive me for only just noticing the ring eh) and then the entire office launched into a discussion on financial aid and how getting married in college screws it all up and something something jazz jazz.
Knowing me it stuck in my head but… and here comes the best part.
That night I dreamt I had gotten married. Surprise surprise. But the funny thing was it actually was surprising because in my dream I remember looking down at my ring and I was happy… when I say happy, I mean HAPPY. It wasn't the jumping about, throwing your air and dancing in circles excitedly with your closest girlfriends but the kinda happy that I guess if I were in a movie someone would go "You are glowing."

…Now as to who the guy I got married to was…

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Let's all wait patiently to find out k! :)

XOXO, K.D.

Musings on M.A.F.U

So one boring day as I slowly browsed the pages of Facebook looking for nothing in particular and not expecting anything new, I came across a new group called M.A.F.U: Men Against F'ing Up.

I'm not sure I remember what exactly my first reaction was after I read the description but if I were to take a guess now I'd say I was somewhere between "Here we go again" and "Finally!" And of course my curiosity at that point had taken over and I went on to read the various posts and watch the videos posted. Wow! …During the video, I shushed my roommate when she tried to speak and at the end I applauded. At this point my reaction was strongly leaning towards "Finally!" But I realized that as I sat there saying "Finally," I have to admit that it is in the fact that I am a woman that I see the speck in the eyes of men rather than the log in my own. It’s always easier to look at someone and see his or her "bad" side than it is to look at yourself and see yours.

In view of this, there should probably also be a WAFU group (Though that just doesn’t sound good). Now, now, ladies, we have to admit that sometimes we are the ones to blame for whatever trouble is going on in a relationship. Be it romantic or platonic. There always seems to be some drama in the relationships around me and being female, I always hear about how Kojo did this and Kwame said that. And after the boy bashing session (lol, forgive me, but we girls have to stick together sometimes), I'd ask, ”so did you talk about it?” Sometimes it's easier to stop and reflect after the ranting and raving is done and look over what the problem is. And it’s at this point that a solution becomes obvious, when the source of the problem is worked out. And ladies, if you ARE the source, admit it. It would make solving the problem easier; Men, you too.

Disclaimer:
This is not at all to say that you should take nonsense when it comes in its true unadulterated form from either party.