No End in Sight 2.

Eight months and a week… It's been eight months and one week since I started work. This last week though I was on vacation and man did I love doing nothing. Like… Damn. The sad thing is that it's not like I'm being worked to the bone at my job and thus deserved a break. It's just… Well. Here's a story.

In November, I believe it was, a new guy was hired. Let's call him Zeke. Z for short. Z came in as an experienced hire, a level above me, but with about the same amount of working knowledge I had since he was new to the particular role. His first assignment was on my team so I got to work with him for a time. It was fantastic! Why? Because we ranted about the exact same things. We had the same problems and the same misunderstandings of what we were supposed to be doing. I was not afraid of our conversations reaching the 'wrong' ears nor was I turned off by eyes glazed over in boredom and resignation as if to say "It is what it is, eventually you'll learn and it'll get better." But HOW? How do you expect me to see the big picture of 4+ different clients for whom I do fleeting, periodic work which I cannot understand beyond the simplistic instruction of 'complete this testing and sign off'? Finally, there was someone who knew and understood exactly what my frustrations were and shared them. "What exactly is the big picture here, and why do we care? Why SHOULD we care?" Big but worthwhile questions to be asking, we felt. The answers we got never really hit that sweet spot of "Oooooo I get it." Needless to say, Z quit and moved on about a month or two (?) later. And I understood him perfectly. Fortunately or unfortunately for me F1/OPT/H1B ties me down. Let those who understand, understand.

Really, though? What exactly IS the big picture to this job that I'm supposed to be doing here?
Sure, there are rules and regs to be adhered to and we make sure of that but… then what?
"Sign off and repeat next year" -________________-

Stripped to it's bare bones, this is not a difficult job. It's a tedious one.
One clothed in personality and priority conflicts, policies drowned under lightyears of bureaucracy and verbiage, skyscraper expectations and a low tolerance for 'almost failure' ('actual failure' is a dirty word in the business. And mind you failure may include forgetting to cross your T's and dot your I's. (I'm only slightly exaggerating)).

Of course, most will read this, roll their eyes, tell me to just stop whining and take the damn silver spoon out of my mouth. I know. I say that to myself often enough. But some days I just can't get past the volatile personalities and contradictory instructions.

Happy Bloody Monday.

No End in Sight 1 in on the first couple weeks at work.