Battle time.

I woke up this morning thinking, "Everyday is a new battle," of course after I thought, "What was that dream about???" In short, it was very dark with a very mean leader and I was just very confused. A lot of very's. (By the way my point is at the bottom… forgive the traffic)

Anyways, everyday is a new battle, and this is easily backed by Matt 6:34: “So don’t ever worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Thing is I wasn't even thinking about it in terms of getting work done for the day or dealing with the same annoying people yet again and successfully not blow your top, but rather I thought about it in terms of everyday is a new battle in trying to serve our Lord. Everyday, we are faced with SO MANY different things that distract us from what we are supposed to be doing, which is worshipping Him. Of course, we each have our things that we are going whether it is going to classes and getting the grades or going to work and getting the money but in those things still we are called to do various things with the gifts that we have been given (1 Corin. 12: 8-11 among others).

I came to this thought because I was frustrated, with not knowing what it is that I'm supposed to be doing. Frustrated with having so many thoughts in my head that I spin circles wider and wider until I circle into doubt which I can't afford to have but cannot get rid off. Why? Because I guess I'm expecting to see God in a certain way and my failing to see Him that way is causing my doubt.

Here's a much clearer explanation, with an example!
Dreams are gifts from God I have been told. Messages especially from Him to me. Now, with that understanding is it highly frustrating to think that God is giving you some message yet you cannot make heads or tails of what He is saying. eg. I am chasing a flying paper fish (another of my very interesting dreams). I don't know what I am supposed to take away from this. I pray for understanding and STILL… nothing. Eventually the thought happens "Maybe He is not listening to me." Then of course I think of Psalm 66: 18: "If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened."  And then I confess like a maniac… still nothing.

All in all, my point(s) is(are):
1. Everyday you must pick up your cross and decide to walk with/for the Lord. There are days sometimes when you are high on His love and you can feel His closeness and NOTHING can get you down off that cloud, and those days are pretty easy ones to have faith on. And then there are those other days… You know the ones I mean and you know exactly how they feel.

2. You cannot expect God to conform to you and your expectations. He is our father and knows what things that we need, but He doesn't work for us. I get frustrated and then doubtful because I prayed for understanding and I do not have that. What I forget is that, that may not be my gift. It is that of someone else meaning I'll have to reach out to my brothers and sisters to grow in Christ because alone I may never understand what messages I'm getting.

Bonus point
3. Faith can be a very fickle thing, especially when you need the faith that the bible describes, unwavering and not double-minded and then it says even having faith as small as a mustard seed is enough. It's hard to take that sometimes my faith is smaller than that.

He truly is worthy of our praise and worship. This is what I believe. When you stop and count your blessing you'll see what I mean. Bless.