It's a couple days to the new year!!! 2012! Dang, the year went by so fast… but Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!! (I dislike the generic "Happy Holidays" wish. Forgive my political incorrectness.) ANYHU! To round up the year, here is a new post for y'all written by my very own 'Sanchez'! A good friend of mine, the reason for which you'd probably get by the end of this post. (If you do let me know, yea?) Enjoy:
Lust, Love & Living
A few days ago, a friend of mine chose to change his display picture for the entire day. Instead of his scruffy mug, I was pleasantly greeted by this rather pretty female face when i visited his profile (did i say 'pretty'? She was HOT). As the day progressed, he changed these pictures frequently, but always of the same girl. They depicted various time periods, locations, and different levels of intriguing poses. The day's slideshow culminated in a rather touching scene of them holding on to each other on the beach.
Oh yeah, I should mention that my friend has been going out with the same woman since high school. And those weren't pictures of his girlfriend.
Initially, I was surprised. Had they broken up? No, last I checked they'd been going out the week before; too soon for these pictures to spring up. Or had he been cheating on her and she found out? Maybe this was plainly an innocent prank or dare?
So I did what any guy would do. I asked him who the hot babe in the pictures was! “Oh, that’s my side chic, it’s her b’day today,” he replied. ‘Ah, it’s only his side chick, makes sense now,’ I thought and dropped the issue… but considering I’m writing about it, it’s pretty clear the matter hasn’t stayed on the floor so to speak.
Now, I do not presume to question my friend’s (or anyone else’s) actions or cast myself as an expert in the field of relationships. He’s managed his relationship for over 5 years and I have barely had one that lasted longer than…yeah, so I’m not judging him. It’s just that the concept of side chicks, booty calls, friends with benefits, (call them what you may) has both confused and fascinated me growing up. What would cause a man to seek comforts outside the relationship he willingly places himself in? Assuming the relationship is a sexual one, why would a man currently going out with one woman have another woman (or other women)?
Maybe it’s a need to explore until we are finally hitched. Some men believe that only through marriage t are hooked to one girl and, until the ring is on her finger and the vows have been exchanged, they are not strictly tied down to one particular women. In that sense the ‘official girl’ is marriage material, someone we identify as a life partner…eventually. We ‘hold onto’ them because we know their worth and don’t want other guys coming for her (yes, this sounds possessive. And it is, no matter how much we deny it). Until they are tied to this official girl, some men would tend to look out for other women.
Men also want women who are able to satisfy their fantasies. The “lady in the sheets, but a freak in the sheets” quote is not just a line people. Of course, the ideal woman does not exist (and yes, neither does the ideal man) but porn magazines and web sites (and sneaking into the girls shower) give men a good idea of what they are attracted to physically and what they want/like even without the experience to back it. The next step of course would be to actually gain such experience…and sometimes just one girl won’t do.
So whose fault is it that men cheat? Well, the guys, of course…but maybe the main woman in the relationship shares some of the blame as well. If you take your man for granted, don’t make him feel wanted/ needed/ useful, etc. it wouldn’t be hard to see why males would want to search elsewhere for someone that makes them feel special. It’s simple a simple rule both sexes follow: The less loved one feels, the more likely cheating shall occur.
I’m guessing this entire piece could possibly work the other way round, (Why do women cheat on their boyfriends?) but I’d like to share something before I get (even more) long-winded. This is a TED Talk by Helen Fisher about love in general, and specifically about why people fall in love and cheat. I’d say 7:00 to 7:45 are probably most insightful to this post but you should really listen to the entire talk:
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