"Boredom kills…" I can see the truth in that.

Could it truly be that I am refusing to see what it is that right under my nose?

Does dust and do scales cloud my eyes,

And reduce everything around me to a disguise?

So much so that I am unable to see

All the opportunities that lay before me?

The summer has begun and by the eternal string of scratches on the prison walls of my mind, it has already gone on for far to long. The days drag on as the trees slowly grow endless shadows behind them, just as my feet, too, drag on as my spirit wears downs and leaves its pieces behind me. The warm summer nights and even warmer summer days refuse to bend to offer even the smallest of condolences by way of a break of the monotonous drone that is my day. It does not bother to offer a cool day, grayed by the rain, as a simple means by which to engage my brain.

Curse the morning sun that drags me into one more day of reaping the nothing that I sowed… The day wears on.

Lord forbid I eventually think pulling out my hair might be somewhat engaging…

Dear Mama…

It’s been a long time that we’ve been together
And not too long ago it seemed like forever
Now I’m so far away and its time that you know
I wish that time would rewind and go little more slow
I miss those days when I was shorter than you
When boys, bills and books were not an issue
Those days I was shown “sense” when I tried to stray
And you’d say “I love you baby so this is the right way”
And now the time has come for me to be
The best that I can on my own you see.
Now I have to be the director of my own show
But I’m so proud I have you to show me the way to go
You were my first and best birthday gift ever
God must really love me to make you my mother
And as He chose you to give me life
I pray He uses me to get you through strife
You are always in my heart and metaphorically by my side
I love you to death mummy and that I could never hide

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!! ☺

KuiDee
05/09/09 7:30pm

Rededicated: 05/09/10

Pensieve entry (05/02/10)

I feel pain. Why? I’m not really sure but I know it must be pain that is causing these tears to leave a trail on my cheek and dampen my sweatshirt sleeves.

I really can’t explain to you why I feel this way though since nothing bad at happened. With enough reading and following “motivational” tweeters and basic common sense you know that its not the event but the way you feel about the event that dictates your mood.

Common sense would then logically tell you to change the way you think but as always that is more easily said than done. Because there is more to the mind, there is the heart. (No I’m not talking about love and all the schmoozy crap).

Sometimes some things just hurt you on the inside way too much to simply change your mind on how you feel about it. And its not even the big things. Just the little ones.
Like consideration. Simple uncomplicated consideration.