So many questions…

What is it that I can do that would lead me to a place where I can find you?
What is it that I can say that would help me see and follow your way?
What is it that I should believe in to see the truths that are and have been?
What is it that I should feel to know that with you my wounds would heal?

When would I be able to say, "Its you, now, forever, any day?"
When would I believe without a doubt that you fill my heart inside and out?
When would I burst out in song because I finally know you after so long?
When would I truly surrender and acknowledge you only as my soul defender?

Which of these paths should I take and will you tell me when its a mistake?
Where may I seek and find your face, and find comfort in your embrace?
Who do I say that you are when I can hardly see you from so far?
Why do I feel so cold and alone as though I built my home in the arctic zone?

Physical Emotions

What does it mean when emotions are so intense it becomes physical pain? What is going on inside?

When you are sad or in pain, tears would not seem out of place. Neither would they be too out of place if you were overcome with joy; or shock even. A laugh or excited dance would perfectly complement a person's happiness. These things, I can understand.

But …what is it when you are missing someone so badly, your chest (your heart?) feels as though it is shrinking and becoming tighter and tighter to the point you gasp for air; whether in shock or because your lungs forget how to work for a second, I don't know.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

…Maybe I just need to go to see a doctor. :S.

These Tears

My tears are falling, they streak my cheek
My emotions are churning, I cannot speak
A raging red, then a heartbreaking blue,
I’ve lost the way, I can’t find You.
These tears they fall; I feel forsaken,
These tears I cry; my heart is aching.

Each tear is from a different source, a different spring
But each one runs the same course, they all sting
Yes, I know without toil there is no gain
But this is going nowhere, it’s nothing but pain.

All I want: a refuge, a place to hide
His hand to hold, Him by my side
I want to stop the spring, to seal the hole.
I want Him to fill my heart, to make me whole.

Please hold my hand and keep me from the dead
Because I know where I finally want to lay my head.

- KuiDee
04/07/08