And the key word here is commitment.
When these phrases get thrown, you best be poised to catch them, not let them be trampled underfoot by excited guests impatient to get to the booze and partying. Ok, enough with the bad metaphors.
For anyone to be able to forgive, forget, get over it and move on requires a significant amount of commitment (though I do not truly believe that of these four, you can ever really forget).
It hit me yesterday that whenever I thought about time travel (don't act you haven't thought about it, even if it was to think it was dumb and not indulge in the fantasy) and I would ALWAYS choose to go back to Christmas 2008. I'd say that there are many other points after X'mas 08 that I could go back to, to which this blog would apply, but X08 is a.... catch-all through to now.
I do wonder, though, would I change anything if I didn't retain the knowledge I have now? Would I, could I, choose to be smarter? To listen to myself? My friends? Family? Or even tell family what was going on at all in the first place?
I honestly can't say anything would change. But hey, a girl can hope.
And in all that, I realise that I'm not 100% sure that I've actually forgiven. I forget sometimes and then I'm rudely reminded and sometimes a plethora of emotion from anger through embarrassment to regret would surface. Have I gotten over it? Lol. Good question. Moved on? I would say yes, but if I can feel all that, have I really?
Anyways, here is what I think it would take. This is what I'm still working on 4.5 years later and would continue to work on for a while because I'm still alive and life definitely doesn't stay monotonous too long.
Forgive
I need to understand that while I need people around and need to learn to let them in, I can not expect them to NEVER disappoint me... because they will. We are all human. But I also need to believe that it doesn't mean that they don't care about me.
Forget
I think I might struggle with this the longest though Lord knows I can fake it pretty well (I think). While I doubt I'd ever truly forget I do believe that the advice in this is to let it go. It happened and it's over. There's nothing you can do to change it, you can only change you[rself], the way you think about it, the way you feel about and the lessons you take with you from it. Forget the past to preserve the future. Leave the baggage behind. Ain't nobody got time for that.
(Shout out to [a friend] who patiently and more recently pointed this out to me. ...Thank you.)
Get Over It
Sigh. When you've been hurt, this is difficult. And that's normal. It took me a while to understand that it's ok to feel the hurt and to allow myself to feel it. I tried so hard to show the world that I was fine. Most thought I was/didn't know why I wouldn't be. Some saw glimpses through the cracks and others happened to be present when I'd occasionally break down about it because I just couldn't hold it together anymore. And I think that just caused the "getting over it" to take FOREVER. There are times were I realise I'm still getting over it... But at least now I know I'm allowed to take my time and to heal probably.
Move On
Sometimes you really just have no choice about this. Unless you like decide to literally jump off a cliff or something... Don't do that.
The good Lord saw it fit to wake me/us the next morning (or afternoon), and the one after that and the one after that and each one more after that. He gave us a brand new day to turn to Him and thank Him for His encouragement to move on. It's like He's saying "I'm still here, sweetheart. I'll always be right here for you."
"When a good thing goes bad it's not the end of the world, it's just the end of a world." - Drake (emphasis mine).
