But when that emotion is negative, like sadness or anger (or what I perceive as such), I can't help but have the first thought that goes through my mind be, "Oh no, what did I do this time?" Then I start the process of trying to figure out when that negative emotion might have come up, what I might have or have not done right before then and how to fix it. And in the case where I can't figure this out, which is most often, I come up with all sorts of reasons why something I did caused this. ...and then apologize for it.
Now.
1. In the event that I actually did nothing wrong (imagine that!), the apology comes across as awkward or even insincere. I don't like this.
2. If I decide to ask if I did something wrong first before I apologize and again I didn't do anything wrong (look at me go!), then I just some across as... [insert your own word that I know you are thinking in here].
But, in those cases were I manage to be smart and figure out that I really can't be the cause of this negative emotion, I find myself in the "How do I make this better?" space. And then in the helpless "I don't know how to make this better." and finally (believe it or not) in the "I'm failing at my job as a [insert applicable title here]."
My realisation?
I need to be reminded of this often:
"KD, the world does not bloody revolve around you..."
Happy Chocolate Day, y'all!
